a night knowing...

for me, a morning person, an early morning person, today is a late start. i woke at 6:45am and saw the sky lightening outside my window. our sunrises are later now, the night's dark clings to sky and treetops just that much later before the sun begins it's ascent in the east. past the Autumn Equinox now, days are shorter and cooler, nights are longer and, somehow, seem to be a deeper dark.

this morning there is a very particular reason for my 'late' start. last night, somehow, i could not fall asleep. restless at 11:30pm, i tossed and turned and pretended i could fall asleep, all the while knowing i was fooling myself, that i was too awake, too much in my head, too much in my heart, to be still and let myself fall...i was awake until 3:30am. but it was all to the Good, i realized later. it was time I needed to be awake, to feel, to be mindful of my feeling and to finally 'come to know' something i've been needing to 'know'. i finally 'got it', the thing i've needed to get, to understand, to be at peace. the 'knowing' slipped into my consciousness so gently, so swiftly, that i immediately thought, 'oh yes, of course...now i understand', then said a silent 'thank you' as i fell gratefully into a deep sleep.

Miracles can happen in the middle of the night!